Yesterday gave me a new sense of direction, a change of heart and the realization that less expectations brings great satisfaction. I have learn to accept and embrace on what may come and let the energy flow through me. It was a big surprise for me that he came by yesterday. I am in awe with the effort he made to see me. Words could not express the overwhelming feeling I get upon seeing him. The thought of letting me know not to get my hopes up is amusing because in actual fact I am extremely happy with his presence and that little things and the thought that counts matters. I have never adore a person this much in the longest time and this actions makes me feel appreciated. With him its more than letting it roll, going with the flow. Its about the consistency, the comfort, loyalty, nurturing each others growth, encouragement and the list goes on. I know it myself and I believe this. I believe him. I have faith in him. I trust him. And the fact that not only he's my happy pill, he is my best friend. My pillar of strength, my words of wisdom. He is the risk worth taking and it's the truth. Nothing can substitute the experience I have gone so far. I made it this far and he is worth waiting for. Even if one day I have failed, it's not a losing battle. It is a battle worth fighting, worth chasing. And a battle worth experiencing, worth keeping, going through all the motions, the hurt, the happiness, the smiles, the tears. It is an experience that keeps me on my toes, that got me stronger. I am not hoping or expecting anything in return. All these things take time so just be patient. If its meant to be, it's meant to be.

I am back. I have decided to write again and it's been a good long time. I made a discovery of my previous blogs and the overwhelming memory floods back in my mind. Mixed feelings; Confusion, sadness, temporary happiness. It bundled all together. Yes, I am back. I'm unsure how am I going to prolong this but I will definitely try. I no longer attempt to write in the little black book anymore because it is the memories that I tend to keep with me for as long as I can. A part of me clings onto the little black book. A part of my memory clings to the memories shared with him. That will be the first and the last attempt to share something personal written in thoughts and feelings to anyone. Now all I am is numbness and an emptiness. A good sense of emptiness that doesn't ache. I have move pass all of the things I have put myself in. And I really did made it through. I am contended. I am fine. I am doing great. I am strong. I miss him. I am happy.